Your unfriendly blogger’s asocial instincts earned a two year incarceration sentence from social media. What a wonderfully instructive time it was to be.
Your blogger wasn’t missed. At all. So humbling.
Facebook got stupider, Twitter seems to have had a hostile takeover from trolls, and the world seems to have moved into planet Instagram. Kim K’s buttocks have left this blogger flummoxed. How could one compete for attention spans when faced with such well-rounded personalities?
This blog’s somewhat deliberately convoluted outpourings and brand of humour got lost in the heap of vainglorious selfies, including strategically beefed up snaps of food, animals and other such drudgeries. A picture indeed spoke a thousand words; possibly more. Perhaps this blogger was adopting an obsolete medium to announce a vapid comeback to the internet.
In an unfortunate development, it appears that most of this blog’s friendly followers – who actually cared to say welcoming things to mostly unwelcoming posts – seem to have passed on. One hopes not all, at least, have passed away.
The assembly line of human reproduction cranked up its efficiency. More babies were probably created in the past two years than earlier periods. Social media is fast proving to be the best census collector. It somewhat corroborated HaLin’s Law of Instagramming: every n babies lead to exp(n) rise in Instagram’s pictures.
Even less reason to seek refuge in the written word.
Worryingly, Google announced its intention to combat ageing. More babies, old living longer. Worrying. Very worrying.
Other unusual developments came to be. Iran donned a conciliatory attire, Putin scaled back from his geographical journeys accompanied by the military, and some governments tried to ban pornography.
But but, there is hope. Godliness – particularly the extreme variety – is on the rise.
This blog will have enough to write about: in obscurity.
Perhaps it is prudent to include an image of Kim K’s buttocks to attract attention.