Dangerous Intoxication: Gin Control

Posted: December 21, 2012 in Humour
Tags: , , , ,

An ambitious group of apple chomping, knife toting, hunter-gatherers once descended upon an alien land. Shipwrecked and with hunger knocking against the walls of their vast bellies, some among the apple chomping, knife toting, hunter-gatherers ventured afar; only to stumble upon a bewildered and larger group of apple chomping, club toting, leaf-clothed hunter-gatherers.

Geographic expansion was high on the knife-toters’ agenda, and they pursued their noble intention of civilisation in ignoble ways. They did not need an invitation for an encore. Quick to unleash the power of their knifes and sabres, they overpowered the club-toters, driving many out for good and subjecting the rest to new-found freedom.

On scanning the spoils, the knife-toters learned that the indigenous group seemed to be carrying an odd contraption that seemed to possess wondrous qualities.

The knife-toters had discovered the Gin.

A few sampled it and the results were splendiferous. Gin seemed to be a necessity in this land. Vast uninhabited landscape now abounding with many of their own trigger-happy ilk had left many in the knife-totter community in the grip of insecurity. They spent so much time together that they grew increasingly scared of their own ilk. They put together a system with elected representatives from their group…and then feared the possibility of turncoats within this group. Trust, but self-defend, often zealously; came to be entrenched in their psyche.

So they enshrined into Law, that ‘citizens’ of this Newfoundland would be permitted to hold Gin; in their pockets and at home.

Citizens found that Gin provided some succor from their insecurities. The Gin owner could rest in peace, secure in the knowledge that helpings of this intoxicant was within reach, should trouble brew. They also found, with time, that what they had in their possession could prove to be quite deadly, when used indiscriminately and aimlessly. Most seemed to exercise self-restraint; but unruly elements sporadically demonstrated the ill-effects of dormant insecurity going berserk.

Uncontrolled usage soon began causing events of tragic proportions. Innocents began paying the price for unbridled soiree gone amiss. Events seemed to be set in a pattern. A tragedy would occur, leading to an explosion in outpouring, followed by fervent calls to revisit the Law, followed by nothingness. This pattern seemed to be set on repeat.

Most discussions were centred around revisiting the Law. Gin opponents felt the Law was outdated, a relic from history that had to be remodelled to reflect present reality. The status quo proponents – the Gin lovers – reminded all of their bloodied history, which wasn’t unique; of the possible irreverence to their founding fathers, how Gin possession was an axiom not open to question.

The civilisation was consumed by Gin intoxication.

Soon, a time came to pass, when daily transactions were carried out using Gin as medium of exchange. Gins became so commonplace that even those averse to Gin consumption were left with little choice but to adopt Gin themselves. The act of pilfering took an unusual turn. Earlier, knifes and other objects of terror were used to extract money. Now, Gins were brandished as weapons, in order to extract more Gins from a horrified populace.

Fear ran high.

More Gins seemed the only solution to this menace, as many believed it provided them with a sense of security from heightened insecurity. Soon, there were more Gins than human beings on their land. This was expected to lead to collective security.

Incredulously, the opposite came to be.

A few paused to ponder about the extent of insecurity, the culture of fear that seemed to have become institutionalised in collective psyche. They pondered about the true meaning of civilisation, when man feared man, often for no reason.

Preemptive projection of Gin on opponents then became the norm. Uncontrolled intoxication soon led to exponentially rising tragedies. Yet, few contemplated getting rid of the habit. Old habits die hard.

This one didn’t.

The civilisation had discovered, belatedly, the need for Gin control.

Soon, nobody survived.

———————————-

HaLin’s peace-loving spell-checker replaced Gun with Gin in the above post. The accidental edit was left uncorrected.

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Richard William Posner says:

    A useful parable. Soon, no one will survive.

    An aside; you might ask your Peace-loving spell checker to consider replacing “totting” with “toting”.
    I know. I’m a scurrilous nit-picker. I can’t help myself.

  2. Perhaps an even more pressing issue–one far more prone to narcotic-level abuse (especially within the government itself)–is Blindfold control.

    The problem first began, innocently enough, with the introduction of window blinds…which quickly and easily enabled people to protect against unwanted outside ‘visual intrusion’ into their private lives. But of course It was soon discovered that those blinds also served to protect one’s view of what the (often unsightly) next door neighbors were up to. As a result of that discovery, it wasn’t long before the development, perfection, and wide-scale use of portable ‘personal blinds’ began to grow exponentially. Of course the term ‘blind fold’ was soon dropped because the option of ‘folding’ them (opening them) eventually became pointless, as it was very seldom–if ever–being used.

    After all, what better, cheaper, simpler way could there be to protect freedom of view from any potentially dangerous exposure to the messy World of Reality? Of course wide scale possession and use of these devices presents a potential danger of its own…especially when being worn while ‘sitting behind the wheel.’

    “Hey, didn’t you see that huge sign we just passed that said ‘Slow Down – Cliff Ahead?”

    “Sign? I didn’t see no sign! Hummm…maybe you need to put your blinds back on…”

    😉

    • HaLin says:

      Wasn’t aware of this being so ingrained and widespread. Sets off quite a few thoughts in the mind. We spend much time coming across as sociable online and then draw the curtains over our soul (so to speak).

      Thank you for sharing.

  3. Ankur Mithal says:

    Widely applicable analogy. At almost every step of “progress”, our indiscriminate use of resources put at our disposal turns against us; whether it is running oil reserves aground, factories for mass-producing things that have contributed to environmental degradation, or anything else. An existentialist question; how does a gun, which anyone has a right to possess, give one any advantage or protection? It is like everyone not holding any guns. We need to think about the “competitive advantage” a bit.

    • HaLin says:

      With a gun in hand, competitive edge is a function of who fires first. The receiverm sadly in many cases, doesn’t live long enough to exercise their dormant competitive advantage.

      If a government, nuclear warhead warehouse et al, does decide to turn against its citizens, fail to understand how having a gun would help. Except maybe for pointing the nozzle at one’s own temple, in which case, the gun would be furthering the government’s apparent objective.

  4. Sharmishtha says:

    hilarious one! 🙂

  5. odiousghost says:

    “The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gin, is a good guy with a gin”

    Great post!

  6. Finn Holding says:

    Hello Halin,

    Gin = gun = intoxicant – it’s a dangerous equation!

    You’ve got a real knack for pointing out the lunacy in all of us!

    • HaLin says:

      Dangerous and lose-all equation indeed. One can only wish that sense prevailed but since it is most unlikely, the best one can do is poke some fun at it.

Reach out

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s