An Obituary to the Written Word

Posted: October 6, 2011 in Humour, Random nonsense
Tags: , , ,

There will come a time when I shall look back morosely at the Wordy world I once lived in. This obituary would serve as a chronicle of a lost world.

I always had a weakness for the written word. Through the late 1980s and mid-90s I regularly allowed a free rein to my imagination, which impinged itself on paper through the medium of the pen. Letter writing was one of these indulgences. It wasn’t just the letters that I penned that I looked forward to reading. It was the replies that I unfailingly received from the recipient that accentuated the delight. I loved the idea of round-trip communication. The love amplified as the process was repeated all over again.

Then along came the Internet.

I became the proud owner of an email id and later, a blog. My fear for the intruder was replaced by eagerness at the prospect of recreating my old passion on the World Wide Web. I soon began appreciating the vast advantages of virtual ink. Once my initiation was complete, the excitement escalated rapidly…

But cycles are all-pervading.

For a while emails elicited enthusiastic responses and blogs were read, at least cursorily. Concomitantly queer transformations were observed.

Gradually, the frequency of replies decreased, starting with a trickle. Soon the non-replies began accelerating in geometric progression. The rather illogical sounding ‘counting non-replies’ was achieved by counting the emails that flew out of one’s inbox, into the WWW, into recipients’ inboxes…and which died a quiet death there.

Those with a fondness for mathematical relationships observed that the replies bore an inverse relationship to the number of emails sent. The situation failed to improve even when the originator sent out emails with a ready reply included.

Time wore on and many sensed a vast improvement in their reading speeds.

This joy was sadly short-lived when realization dawned that replies were being truncated to a couple of ropey lines. The rare replies often included a string of the same alphabet repeated (heyyyyy, comeee soooon, missssssiingg youuuuu), possibly to convey the weightiness of whatever emotion that was being conveyed. Some paradoxes were observed. Mathematical symbols were liberally used to suggest love <3. Yet, math was otherwise abhorred as a medium of communication on matters pertaining to the heart (it was judged to be too unemotional).

Alphabets that contributed to coherent words were randomly scythed by the word-hunters, never to be heard of again. Long words bore the brunt of this word-poaching and more than a few joined the dodos and dinosaurs in extinction. The critically endangered words category was rapidly populated but support for their cause was scant, by celebrities or others. Words were replaced by their numerical brethren and the 4mer took gr8 offence 2 this. But there was little that they could do as they learnt with trepidation that Darwin applied to the word world too.

Neither were the Exclamations and Punctuation families spared from mutation and ultimate extinction!…?! When the duty-bound Word Processor flagged these juxtaposed punctuation/exclamation marks in Green for correction, they were duly Ignored, Once and then, for All. The Question Mark was avoided at the end of questions in those rare occurrences of email communication, as it seemingly made one appear intrusive and intimidating. The comma fell in coma and punctuations were punctured punctiliously.

Then there was the birth of a frightening devil called Social Networking which promised to exacerbate the process of word extinction. Emotion-laced words spouted by the unsuspecting brain met with a gory end as they perished at the hands of the Character Limit. Man’s growing impatience with almost everything around him extended to the Word world. The reminder of one’s existence and acknowledgment of another’s was confined to clicking on ‘Like’ buttons on Social Networking oblations. Over time, even these simple tasks of nature were forgotten.

Nobody seemed to recollect having come across many readable authors in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, J. K. Rowling aside. Enthusiastic readers who could bear long words found themselves scanning the early 20th century for appealing readership and extinct words. The latter was to assuage sadness and blame the present extinctions on history. Progress was slow through the 18th to 14th centuries as word-maniacs were thwarted by the richness of English expression during this period. The proliferation of whence and thence was too dense for many, who were relieved that these words were history.

Rancour reduced noticeably at this realization. One resignedly observed that the letter had evolved from sign language to indiscernible but attention-grabbing symbolism to Hieroglyphs to the relative simplicity and elegance that dominated much of the AD. But the tentacles of evolution spared few. A new Dyslexicon would be born.

Words couldn’t convey the emotion felt. They had moved on.

‘U wil b misssssssssed’, mumbled a few.

Signing of with XXX.

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Comments
  1. dexkid says:

    If only I knew half as many words and wasn’t as lazy and had coherent thoughts to put down!..Sigh…

  2. Aniarrg says:

    The ‘Virtual Pen’? I for a second thought that it was a place where you put your pigs in Farmville!!!

  3. S Basu says:

    if you write with the correction mode on it really squeezes the life out of your writing. every time you go by your heart you will see your whole paragraph is underlined in green then you will have to snip it till it becomes drab and lifeless.

    so so agree 😦

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