The Potato Effect

Posted: July 31, 2011 in General, Humour, Random nonsense
Tags: , , , ,

An Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder with anything and everything to do with the environment seems to be the flavour of the current century, so far. Paranoia has received a major boost following the emergence of the Go Green fixation that has gripped the developed world. And, worryingly, it threatens to spread its tentacles to other parts of the globe, who are still toddlers in the Art of Refined Pollution.

Yes, it is essential to preserve Mother Earth from alien or man-made obliteration. Yes, it is just to try to break the natural Law of Nature to preserve herds of rather useless organisms from extinction. Condolences if morally commendable acts lead to evolutionarily lamentable consequences. Yes, it is reprehensible to poke un-Facebookish holes on the ozone layer, either from noxious industrial or, more virulent, human gases.

Political science followers are well-versed in Interest Group Theory, where opposing groups slug it out, furthering serious agendas, often through laughable means. Interest Group Theory, the term, sounds as dreary now as it did when I sat through engrossing (really) discussions at University. I shall concoct a new term for the phenomenon that appeals to my razed imagination – The Potato Effect.

So, the British have long been enamoured by the Adam of vegetables, the potato. Over time as potato consumption increased to a point when the human form evolved to resemble the very vegetable it enjoyed consuming, one (couch-potato) group sprung into action. Potatoes-are-good-for-you was replaced by anti-potato rhetoric. In a blow to Mae West, the anti-potato group decided that too much of a good thing wasn’t so good after all. This propaganda caused some consternation among the potato producers community. And so the endangered species promptly gave birth to a group that was opposed to cuts in potato production. Then a third group took shape, to act as crusaders against potato wastage. Spewing a barrage of statistics quantifying annual potato wastage, this group stoked dormant altruistic tendencies in human beings, citing hungry and deprived humans in other parts of the planet. How could someone waste so much? Wasn’t it wiser to transport excess potatoes to the less-privileged? Resounding story line, indeed. But they quickly ran into a problem. The don’t-poke-the-ozone group invoked the Law of Transport Pollution and contended that transporting potatoes to faraway lands would be damaging to the atmosphere, the fauna, the flora and all other species known (and unknown) to Man.

Lost? Here’s a summary.

One group focused on maximizing potato production that another group urged not to consume that another group was loath to waste that another group did not want sent elsewhere. You produced what could not be consumed, wasted or shared.

 

It seems the very act of acting is enough to kill everybody.

The Potato Effect is a hilariously threatening ailment to this part of the world, which is still finding its Pollution Quotient. As Steel, Automobile and Power plants’ commissioning hit roadblocks, the Potato Effect seems to be taking root. This nation has a long way to (d)evolve before the extremes of the Potato Effect become visible but one sees the signposts.

The present state is a nation which, in aggregate, does not produce what it consumes, wastes and seldom shares. To move to a state where one produces what cannot be consumed, wasted or shared is probably going to be one of the most enthralling transformations in the 21st century.

In the long run we are all dead, said John Maynard Keynes. As we continue polluting ourselves into extinction, could someone lend me a pack of potato chips please?

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Comments
  1. aniarrg says:

    We are almost there (not a long way to devolve) with the founding stones being laid by the Tata Nano issue…

  2. HS says:

    We’ll get there, soon!

  3. S Basu says:

    🙂 its better to die after having one’s fill than with a hungry tummy.

    thanks for the kind email you sent me in my email id, i am humbled and surprised that you liked my writings so much.

    i wish i could like them that much myself. no, i am not a writer but will love to become one. i always keep my fingers crossed for this.

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